Unraveling Trauma with Internal Family Systems Therapy

Trauma is a tricky beast. It’s not always about the big, obvious events that everyone recognizes as life-changing. Sometimes, it’s the smaller, quieter moments that creep up on you, leaving marks that are hard to shake off.

Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) is a powerful tool that helps you unravel these tangled threads of trauma. If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t seem to move past certain feelings or behaviors, IFS trauma therapy might be the key you’ve been searching for.

And, for those of you proud of your Chicago roots, it was developed by a Chicagoan!  Dr. Richard Schwartz, the father of Internal Family Systems Therapy, teamed with other Chicago therapists and colleagues around the country to create the model.  So, how does IFS therapy heal trauma?

Understanding Trauma: More Than Just the Big Events

What is Trauma?

When you think of trauma, your mind might jump to things like car accidents, natural disasters, or assaults – those big, dramatic events that are obviously traumatic. But trauma isn’t limited to these “big T” traumas. Trauma is any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope.

It could be something like a harsh word from a parent that you heard over and over again, or the feeling of being ignored by someone you needed love from. These “little T” traumas can be just as damaging, even if they don’t seem as dramatic.

The Subtle Side of Trauma: Little T Traumas

Imagine walking through life with a backpack full of stones. Each stone represents a small trauma – a criticism here, a rejection there. Over time, that backpack gets heavier and heavier, until one day, you realize you’re struggling to move forward. That’s what little T traumas do. They accumulate, weighing you down and affecting how you see yourself and the world around you.

The Limitations of Traditional Talk Therapy

Why Talk Therapy Alone May Not Be Enough

Talk therapy is great – it helps you put your feelings into words and understand your thoughts. But when it comes to deep-seated trauma, it might feel like you’re just scratching the surface. Trauma isn’t just in your head; it’s in your body too.

Your muscles tense up, your heart races, and you might feel like you’re reliving the experience over and over again. This is where talk therapy sometimes falls short – it doesn’t always get to the root of the problem.

How Trauma Lives in the Body

Have you ever noticed that when you think about something upsetting, your body reacts? Maybe your chest tightens, or your stomach churns. That’s because trauma doesn’t just live in your mind – it’s stored in your body.  Dr. Bessel van der Kolk wrote a fairly popular book, The Body Keeps the Score, that explores how trauma impacts the brain and body.

Traumatic experiences, particularly those occurring in childhood, can alter the functioning of the brain and manifest as physical and psychological symptoms later in life. This is why it’s so important to address trauma in a way that involves both your mind and your body.

Introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)

What is IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems therapy is a bit different from other types of therapy. Think of your mind as a house with many rooms, and each room houses a different part of you. Some parts might be scared or angry, while others are protective or nurturing.

IFS therapy helps you explore these parts, understand them, and bring them into balance. The goal is to let your true self – the part of you that is calm, compassionate, and wise – take the lead.

The Concept of Parts in IFS

In IFS therapy, we talk a lot about “parts.” These parts aren’t separate personalities; they’re different aspects of your personality that have developed to help you cope with life’s challenges. For example, you might have a part that’s very critical of you because it’s trying to push you to do better.

Another part might avoid conflict because it’s trying to keep you safe. Each part has a role, and in IFS trauma therapy, we work to understand these roles and how they interact.

The Role of the Self in IFS

At the heart of IFS therapy is the self. The self is like the conductor of an orchestra, guiding all the parts to work together harmoniously. When the self is in charge, you feel balanced, calm, and in control. But when trauma takes over, the self can get pushed aside, and the protective parts take the lead. IFS therapy helps you reconnect with your self so that it can lead your internal family of parts toward healing.

How IFS Therapy Transforms Trauma

Engaging with Protective Parts

One of the first things we do in IFS trauma therapy is engage with your protective parts. These are the parts that have stepped up to keep you safe from harm, even if their methods aren’t always helpful.

For example, you might have a part that shuts down emotionally to protect you from getting hurt. In IFS therapy, we don’t try to get rid of these parts; we work with them, understanding their intentions and helping them find healthier ways to protect you.

Healing Wounded Parts

Once we’ve built trust with your protective parts, we can start to address the wounded parts of you – those parts that carry the pain of past traumas. These parts might feel like they’re stuck in time, reliving the trauma over and over again. IFS therapy helps these parts release their burdens, allowing them to heal and move forward.

The Process of Unburdening in IFS Therapy

Unburdening is a key concept in IFS trauma therapy. It’s the process of helping your parts let go of the pain, fear, and negative beliefs they’ve been carrying. Imagine carrying around a heavy load for years, and then finally being able to put it down. That’s what unburdening feels like. It’s a release, a relief, and it opens up space for new, healthier ways of being.

What Does IFS Look Like in Practice?

Consider Sarah’s story. Sarah grew up in a household where she was constantly criticized, and as a result, she developed a part that was always doubting her abilities. In IFS therapy, we worked with this part, understanding its fear, updating its understanding of Sarah as an adult, learning about its origin, and helping it to see that it didn’t need to protect Sarah in this way anymore. Over time, this part began to relax, and Sarah started to believe in herself more. She was able to pursue her dreams without that constant voice of doubt holding her back.

Another example is Mark, who had experienced a betrayal in a past relationship. This trauma led to a part of him that was hypervigilant, always on the lookout for signs of danger in new relationships. He hadn’t dated in years and, although he was very sexually active, felt isolated and alone.

In IFS therapy, we worked with this protective part, helping it to feel validated in its pain and also to understand that it didn’t need to be on high alert all the time. Mark learned to trust again, and he was able to form deeper, more meaningful connections with others.

How IFS Therapy Leads to Lasting Change

The beauty of IFS trauma therapy is that it doesn’t just provide temporary relief. It creates lasting change by addressing the root causes of your trauma. When your parts are no longer burdened by past hurts, they can work together in harmony, leading to a more balanced, fulfilling life.

• A Gentle and Compassionate Approach –  One of the things I love most about IFS trauma therapy is how gentle it is. We don’t force anything; we let your parts guide the process. This creates a safe, compassionate space where healing can happen naturally.

• Healing at Your Own Pace – In IFS therapy, there’s no rush. We go at your pace, allowing you to heal in a way that feels right for you. This is important because trauma recovery is a deeply personal journey, and it’s different for everyone.

• Creating Lasting Transformation –  The goal of IFS trauma therapy isn’t just to make you feel better temporarily – it’s to create lasting change. By helping your parts to unburden and come into balance, IFS therapy sets the stage for long-term healing and growth.

How to Get Started with IFS Therapy

Finding a Qualified IFS Therapist

If you’re interested in trying IFS trauma therapy, the first step is to find a qualified therapist. Look for someone who is trained in IFS and has experience working with trauma. At Tandem Psychology, we have therapists who specialize in IFS therapy and are ready to help you on your healing journey.

What to Expect in Your First Sessions

Your first sessions in IFS therapy will be all about getting to know your parts and starting to build trust. We’ll take it slow, making sure that you feel safe and supported every step of the way. It’s a collaborative process, and you’re in the driver’s seat.

As you continue with IFS therapy, you’ll start to see changes in how you feel and how you interact with the world. Your parts will begin to heal, and you’ll start to feel more balanced and whole. It’s a powerful process, and it can lead to profound transformation.

Taking the First Step Toward Healing

If you’ve tried other forms of therapy and still feel stuck, or if you’re looking for a more compassionate, holistic approach to healing, internal family systems therapy might be right for you. It’s a unique approach that honors all parts of who you are, helping you to achieve true, lasting change.

Trauma doesn’t have to define your life. With IFS trauma therapy, you can start to unravel the knots of your past and move toward a future filled with hope and healing. At Tandem Psychology, we’re here to guide you on this journey. Take the first step today – reach out to us and discover how internal family systems therapy can help you reclaim your life.

This blog is made for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice. The information in this blog is not intended to (1) replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified licensed health care provider, (2) create or establish a provider-patient relationship, or (3) create a duty for us to follow up with you.