Transform your thoughts by using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques. Learn how CBT can help you develop healthier thought patterns. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely recognized and evidence-based therapy focusing on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

It’s grounded in helping you understand how one’s thoughts and beliefs influence your emotions and actions. CBT aims to help individuals develop healthier thoughts, behaviors, and emotional stability.  But, can CBT help improve self-esteem?

Absolutely! Many CBT techniques used in therapy aim to identify and break unhelpful patterns that maintain low self-esteem, and instead, build more balanced and realistic beliefs.

This process involves recognizing and overcoming negative biases, unhelpful rules, and self-defeating behaviors. But, before we delve into how to change self-esteem for the better, it’s helpful to understand the negative impacts on self-esteem.

What causes low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem often stems from our past experiences. Many of these can be traced to our early childhood. These negative experiences form an opinion of who we are, how we view the world, and what everyday interactions mean to us. For example:

• Excessive Punishment, Neglect & Abuse – Suppose you are mistreated, punished frequently, extremely or unpredictably, neglected, abandoned, or abused. In that case, these experiences can leave emotional and psychological scars. Unsurprisingly, a person who has had these experiences in their earlier life can come to believe very negative things about themselves.

• Difficulty in Meeting Parents’ Standards – If your parents, caretakers, and family members only focused on your weaknesses and mistakes and rarely acknowledged your positive qualities or successes, or if they frequently teased you, made fun of you, and put you down, you might also believe negative things about yourself.

• Not Fitting In at Home or School – Experiences of being the “odd one” at home or school can also take a toll on someone. They might have been less intelligent than their siblings at home or had different interests, abilities, talents, or skills to others in the family. Although they might not have been criticized for their differences, these might not have been acknowledged. Therefore, they might come to believe thoughts such as “I’m weird,” “I’m odd,” or “I’m inferior.”

• Difficulty in Meeting Peer Group Standards – During late childhood and adolescence, our experiences with peers and people around us can also influence how we see ourselves. This is when our physical appearance changes and is very important to a young person. With messages conveyed in the media of what is healthy and good looking, and not experiencing many positives with their peers, they can come to believe statements of “I am fat and ugly,” “I’m unattractive,” or “I’m unlikeable.”

• Being on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distress – Sometimes, when families experience stressful or distressing life events, parents may need to give their attention to dealing with the problems. Parents may need to provide more attention to their child or children. In these cases, parents can also become very frustrated, anxious, angry, or depressed and respond negatively toward their children or become role models of unhelpful behavior.

• Your Family’s Place in Society – How we view ourselves is influenced by how we are treated as individuals and how our family is viewed and treated by others in society. Suppose the family you belonged to was considered different, less socially acceptable, or on the receiving end of prejudice or hostility. In that case, these experiences can also influence how you see yourself.

• An Absence of Positives – The absence of positives in our lives can also affect us. You may not receive enough attention, praise, encouragement, warmth, or affection. Your basic needs were just barely met, but no more was given. Maybe your parents or caretakers were emotionally distant, not physically affectionate, spending a lot of time working or pursuing their interests, and had little time with you. These experiences influence how people view themselves especially if they compare their experiences with their peers who have had more positive experiences.

Patterns that maintain low self-esteem

It’s important to understand that once we know where our low self-esteem stems from, we must find out how it stays in a maintenance cycle. This can be seen through uncovering our core beliefs, rules and assumptions that we live by. Our rules and assumptions serve to reinforce the negative core beliefs that have been formed due to our early negative life experiences. (Spoiler alert – this is also the focus of many techniques in CBT.)

Examples of core beliefs:

• “I am stupid.”
• “I’m not good enough”
• “I’m unlovable.”
• “I’m unacceptable.”

Examples of rules we live by:

• “I must be the best at everything.”
• “I must never make any mistakes.”
• “I must never show any emotion in public.”

Examples of assumptions we live by:

• “If I ask for help, that means I look weak.”
• “No matter what I do, it will never be good enough.”

Examples of rules and assumptions:

• “I must do everything right (rule), or else I’ve failed (assumption)
• “I have to do all I can to gain others’ approval (rule) because if I’m criticized in any way, It means I am not acceptable” (assumption)

CBT Techniques for Self-Esteem Development

CBT employs various record-keeping techniques (i.e., activity records and thought records) that, when combined with behavioral experiments, can be particularly effective in improving self-esteem. Let’s explore these techniques of CBT.

Activity Records

Activity records primarily track daily activities, noting the time, duration, and context. They include mood ratings associated with each activity, helping identify how different activities impact emotional well-being and self-esteem.

These records offer insights into behavioral patterns, revealing which activities correlate with mood and self-esteem. This understanding is crucial for making conscious behavioral changes in which you choose to engage in activities that boost your mood and improve your self-esteem.

Thought Records

Thought records focus on capturing specific thoughts, particularly automatic thoughts that are negative or unhelpful. They are instrumental in tracking cognitive patterns in response to events or situations.

By analyzing, challenging, reframing, and refocusing thoughts you can impact your self-esteem.  For example, by examining the evidence for and against these thoughts, more balanced and realistic thoughts are developed.

Another of the CBT techniques thought ladders, use insights gleaned from thought records to gradually shift thoughts from negative to more positive and balanced.  The thought ladder technique addresses the challenge often faced with positive affirmations, where too abrupt a shift in thinking can feel unrealistic and ineffective.

By advancing in measured, realistic steps, the thought ladder technique enables individuals to progressively reframe their thoughts. Here’s an example of how this technique could be applied to the negative thought “I can’t do anything right”:

• Original Negative Thought: “I can’t do anything right.”
• First Rung – Slightly Less Negative: “Sometimes I make mistakes.” This step acknowledges the universality of making mistakes, moving away from the absolute negative.
• Second Rung – Neutral Thought: “Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.” This thought introduces balance and normalizes the idea that nobody is perfect at everything.
• Third Rung – Slightly Positive: “I have been successful in some tasks.” Here, the focus shifts to recognizing past successes, however small they may be.
• Fourth Rung – More Positive: “I can do certain things well.” This statement is a positive affirmation that recognizes personal abilities and skills.
• Top Rung – Positive and Empowering: “I am capable of learning and improving in areas I’m not strong in yet.” This final thought is empowering, emphasizing growth and the potential for improvement.

Each rung of the thought ladder represents a gradual shift in perspective. The movement from a deeply negative thought to a more positive and realistic one happens in manageable steps, making the process feel more achievable and less overwhelming. This technique helps in breaking the cycle of absolute negative thinking, encouraging a more balanced and positive view of yourself.

Behavioral Experiments

Both activity and thought records provide the groundwork for behavioral experiments, another one of the CBT therapy techniques that can be used to improve self-esteem. Insights from these records can guide the design of these experiments, which are simply structured activities aimed at testing and challenging negative beliefs or assumptions about yourself.

Behavioral experiments can specifically target areas of low self-esteem. For instance, if activity records show a decline in mood during social interactions, a behavioral experiment might involve initiating conversations to test fears or negative predictions about socializing.

If thought records identify specific negative beliefs contributing to low self-esteem. Behavioral experiments can then be used to challenge these beliefs. For example, if someone believes they are unlikable, an experiment might involve seeking feedback from peers and providing real-world evidence against this belief.

Successful behavioral experiments can lead to a significant boost in self-esteem. They provide tangible evidence that contradicts negative self-beliefs, fostering a more positive self-view and confidence in your abilities.

Self-esteem can be significantly improved through the use of these CBT techniques. The methods described here, and others that can be learned and practiced in therapy can provide you with practical tools to reframe negative thoughts, recognize and build upon your strengths, and develop a more balanced and positive self-esteem.  We’re here to help and would be honored to join your journey!

This blog is made for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice. The information in this blog is not intended to (1) replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified licensed health care provider, (2) create or establish a provider-patient relationship, or (3) create a duty for us to follow up with you.