Affirmative Therapy with Trans Youth and Their Parents
Hello, parents. Let’s talk.
If you’re here, you might be feeling overwhelmed, curious, or even a bit unsure about what comes next. Or, maybe you’re wondering how therapy could help your transgender or gender-expansive child. I’m glad you’re here. What I want to offer you is clear, evidence-based guidance and a warm, supportive hand as you and your child navigate this journey together.
Why Gender-Affirming Care Matters
First, let’s address the elephant in the room—gender-affirming care. It’s not just a buzzword; it’s a proven, life-saving approach supported by the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Pediatric Endocrine Society, and the American Medical Association. These are not small endorsements; these are the gold standards of care in our society.
If you’re asking why it matters or why these leading organizations are taking such interest, it’s because they’ve seen the transformative impact of evidence-based gender-affirming care.
Research highlights the mental health challenges faced by transgender and nonbinary youth. For example, a 2021 study from The Trevor Project revealed that 52% of transgender and nonbinary youth seriously considered suicide in the past year, with 20% attempting suicide.
Similarly, a 2018 study published in Pediatrics found that transgender adolescents were at significantly higher risk of mental health challenges compared to their cisgender peers. Addressing these disparities through gender-affirming care, such as trans affirmative therapy, is essential for improving outcomes and reducing these alarming statistics.
The numbers are stark. But here’s the good news: therapy for transgender youth and gender-affirming therapy has been shown to significantly improve mental health outcomes for trans and gender-diverse youth. It’s a critical aspect of ensuring wellness alongside the valuable support families can offer. Together, these efforts establish a powerful framework for positive change.
What is Gender-Affirming Therapy?
An affirmative therapist starts with one simple premise—your child deserves to be seen, validated, and supported for who they are. It’s an evidence-based approach tailored to help trans and gender-expansive youth explore their identity in a safe, nurturing environment. The goal is not to rush into life-altering decisions but to meet your child or teen where they are right now, providing the tools and support they need to navigate their journey.
This form of therapy prioritizes emotional well-being and personal growth by helping children and adolescents process feelings such as gender dysphoria (the distress that can arise when one’s gender identity and assigned sex at birth do not align) and celebrate moments of gender euphoria (the joy of expressing one’s authentic self). It creates a safe space for youth to build confidence and resilience while addressing mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression.
For parents, gender-affirming therapy offers guidance, education, and a supportive framework to better understand and support their child’s experiences. It’s about fostering healthy communication within families and empowering youth to thrive as their true selves.
The Role of Therapy
As a queer and LGBTQ affirmative therapist, my job is to support both your child and your family. Here’s what that can look like:
- Creating a Safe Space for Your Child: Your child needs a place to explore their feelings about gender without fear of judgment. Trans affirmative therapy can help them put words to complex experiences like gender dysphoria (the distress of living in a body that doesn’t align with their identity) and gender euphoria (the joy of expressing their true self).
Drawing from Gabor Maté’s work on authenticity and attachment, therapy for transgender youth also fosters a space where youth can safely reconcile their need for authenticity with their need for attachment to family and caretakers.
This balance is critical; when people feel they must sacrifice their authenticity to preserve family bonds, it can exacerbate feelings of dysphoria and internal conflict. Supporting both authenticity and attachment can nurture emotional security and mental health. - Guiding Parents Through Uncertainty: Let’s face it—this is new territory for many parents. You might be wondering about the impacts of medical interventions on fertility, the reversibility of medical interventions, or how your child’s choices will be perceived by others.
Maybe you’re even feeling external pressure from your child as they push for medical interventions or from peers who share their beliefs about how you should best parent. Therapy provides a space to explore these questions and find clarity. - Advocating for Your Child: Whether it’s working with schools to ensure representation in the curriculum or access to appropriate bathrooms, or standing up to friends who make transphobic remarks, affirmative therapists can advocate for and help you advocate for your child’s needs.
- Facilitating Family Conversations: Families are a team. A trans affirmative therapist will help ensure everyone’s voice is heard while keeping the focus on what’s best for your child.
Common Questions from Parents
Let’s tackle a few questions I hear all the time:
“Isn’t my child too young to truly consider their gender?”
Not necessarily. Many trans people report knowing their gender identity from a very young age. But even if your child is still exploring, supporting their journey is key. Trans affirmative therapy provides a safe space for that exploration.
“What about medical interventions?”
These decisions don’t happen overnight. At Laurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago, their team emphasizes that patients under the age of 18 seeking medical interventions will need parental consent and are closely monitored by a pediatric endocrinologist.
Further, the hospital’s gender development program ensures that families have access to a comprehensive care team, including educational visits and social workers, to guide them through every step of the process with care and expertise.
The collaborative approach to gender-affirming care emphasizes a triad of decision-making that includes the patient, the family, and the care team. This framework ensures that everyone’s concerns are heard and addressed, keeping the child’s well-being as the central priority. It’s a thoughtful, team-based process.
“How can I support my child if I’m still adjusting?”
Fair question! It’s okay to feel a range of emotions—confusion, fear, even grief. You will do your best to care for yourself and, thereby, care for your child. Your child will notice the authenticity of your effort. And, individual therapy isn’t just for your child; it’s for you, too. Learning and growing together strengthens your family bond.
A Journey, Not a Sprint
Parents, I want to leave you with this: supporting your transgender child is a journey. It’s filled with questions, learning, and growth—not just for your child, but for you as well. An affirmative therapist is about love, patience, and affirmation. It’s about saying, “I see you, and I’m here for you.”
If you’re considering individual therapy for your child or yourself, I encourage you to take that step. Our team is knowledgeable in trans affirmative therapy and will walk alongside your family with compassion and expertise.
Together, we can create a world where your child feels safe, valued, and celebrated for who they are!
This blog is made for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice. The information in this blog is not intended to (1) replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified licensed health care provider, (2) create or establish a provider-patient relationship, or (3) create a duty for us to follow up with you.
