Addressing Feelings of Inferiority in the LGBTQ+ Community

Folx, let’s talk about a group of people who’ve mastered the fine art of surviving, thriving, and accessorizing—the Queer and LGBTQ+ community. Yes, in a world where love is love (and rainbow flags make excellent capes), there’s still one sneaky villain that refuses to get with the program: feelings of inferiority. Now, you might think, “Wait, aren’t we living in 2025? Haven’t we moved on?” Well, much like the WiFi in my Chicago apartment—progress isn’t always as strong as we’d like it to be.

As a therapist—and your unofficial hype-person—I can tell you that shame, isolation, and those little gremlins of self-doubt can creep in, even in the most loving environments. The good news? LGBTQ therapy (yes, it’s a thing!) provides a safe, affirming space to face those villains, kick them to the curb, and get back to your fabulous, empowered self.

So stick around, because we’re diving into why these feelings arise, how individual therapy can help you challenge them, and why there’s no better time than now to take control of your emotional well-being. Ready to say goodbye to the inner critic and hello to self-acceptance? Then let’s get started!

Why Do LGBTQ+ Individuals Struggle with Feelings of Inferiority?

It’s easy to believe that a city like Chicago, where Pride parades color the streets and rainbow paint actually outlines crosswalks in Lakeview and Andersonville neighborhoods, would be a world where queer and LGBTQ+ people feel fully accepted, celebrated, and free of emotional scars. But beneath this cultural progress lies a quiet, persistent undercurrent: feelings of inferiority. Even in societies that are increasingly accepting, these emotional burdens are often deeply rooted and hard to shake.

Childhood Roots: Small Moments That Shape a Lifetime

The seeds of these feelings often begin in childhood—in those formative years when we learn how we fit into the world. Alfred Adler, one of the founders of modern psychotherapy, described childhood as a time when all humans experience a natural sense of “smallness,” a feeling of being smaller and less capable than others. In a supportive environment, this sense drives growth, resilience, and eventual autonomy.

For queer and LGBTQ+ youth, however, this “smallness” can take on a darker shade. A child who starts to notice their difference—whether in who they have crushes on or how they express themselves—can feel unmoored, as though they’re not part of the same world as their peers. This difference, when met with rejection or misunderstanding, can easily turn into shame.

Imagine an eight-year-old boy who’s teased for his love of art instead of sports. No one says the word “gay,” but the teasing—the laughter, the sideways glances—creates an imprint. Or a 12-year-old queer child who’s called “tomboy” by classmates. They don’t yet understand what makes them different, but they know they’re “not right.” These experiences, small as they may seem, layer into a narrative of unworthiness.

Research confirms this impact: A 2023 study in Child Development (McCurdy & Russell) found that LGBTQ+ youth who experience even subtle forms of rejection are significantly more likely to internalize shame, which compounds over time. Without therapy for LGBTQ people, these feelings can persist well into adulthood.  The good news — LGBTQ therapy is effective at challenging these harmful internal narratives and building greater self-esteem and worth.

Minority Stress: The Quiet Weight We Carry

This brings us to the concept of minority stress — a framework used to explain why queer and LGBTQ+ people experience disproportionately high rates of mental health challenges. Minority stress doesn’t require outright bullying or overt discrimination (though those certainly happen).

It’s often quieter, harder to point to: the coworker who hesitates when you mention your partner, the extended family member who doesn’t quite meet your eyes at Thanksgiving, or the moment you’re deciding whether to bring your partner to a company holiday party.

Picture it: You’re at work, and your colleagues are excitedly talking about their significant others joining the upcoming office holiday party. You want to bring your partner, but a dozen quiet worries bubble up.

Will my boss look at me differently? Will there be awkward silence? Will I feel welcome? These micro-moments may seem small, but they add up to an exhausting vigilance—a constant scanning of the environment to gauge safety and acceptance.

In a progressive city like Chicago, where vibrant LGBTQ+ communities exist, many still carry this weight. It’s not about one glaring incident; it’s about years of small signals that reinforce feelings of not fully belonging. This stress leads many to seek therapy for LGBTQ people, where they can safely explore these feelings and learn coping strategies to reduce its impact.

Shame: The Invisible Wound That Fuels Inferiority

What happens when this stress builds? It often manifests as shame—a deeply internalized belief that something is inherently wrong with you. Shame isn’t always loud or obvious; it’s subtle. It’s that voice that whispers, you’re not good enough, you don’t belong here, or you’re unworthy of love and acceptance.

Take the findings of Scheer et al. (2019), who examined trauma and shame among LGBTQ+ people. Their study revealed that exposure to potentially traumatic events—anything from bullying to exclusion—was directly linked to shame, which in turn led to higher rates of depression, PTSD symptoms, and substance use. For many, this cycle becomes a repeating loop, one that LGBTQ therapy and therapy for LGBTQ people aim to interrupt.

It’s worth repeating: Even queer people raised in supportive families or living in affirming cities like Chicago are not immune. Shame isn’t solely a product of overt discrimination. It’s a product of years of subtle, cumulative experiences.

How Therapy for Queer and LGBT People Helps Break the Cycle

This is where Queer and LGBTQ therapy comes in. Individual therapy for LGBTQ people provides a space to unpack the weight of these experiences, challenge internalized shame, and build resilience. Whether it’s learning to identify harmful thought patterns, processing childhood wounds, or practicing self-compassion, individual LGBTQ therapy creates a path toward healing.

Affirming LGBTQ therapy focuses on creating a space where queer and LGBTQ+ folx feel fully seen and validated. Unlike general individual therapy approaches, affirming therapy centers the unique emotional experiences that come with navigating identity, relationships, and societal pressures as a queer person.

Imagine being able to talk openly about your partner or gender expression without second-guessing whether the therapist understands or accepts you. Queer affirming therapists prioritize cultural competence—from understanding the nuances of microaggressions to recognizing how coming out, rejection or internalized shame can shape a person’s worldview.

For example, a client might share their anxiety about bringing a partner to a work holiday party, something that might seem trivial to others but holds layers of vulnerability for an LGBTQ+ person.

An affirming LGBT therapist wouldn’t dismiss this anxiety; instead, they would explore the underlying fears—fear of judgment, exclusion, or reliving past rejection—and work collaboratively to create strategies for self-affirmation and confidence. This nuanced attention to identity makes LGBT therapy so essential.

In therapy for LGBTQ people, the therapist doesn’t just address symptoms like anxiety or depression; they validate the deeper emotional wounds caused by systemic invalidation and help clients reclaim their sense of worth. By honoring the client’s lived experience, affirming therapists help queer people integrate all parts of their identity—including those shaped by past struggles—into a narrative of resilience, self-acceptance, and empowerment.

Take the First Step Toward Healing

If you’re tired of carrying the weight of shame or feelings of inferiority, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Therapy for LGBTQ people is an evidence-based, compassionate way to explore these feelings, challenge them, and reclaim your sense of self-worth.

At Tandem Psychology in Chicago, we specialize in affirming, queer and LGBTQ therapy and therapy for LGBTQ people. You deserve to thrive, connect, and live as your most authentic self. Whether you’re struggling with internalized shame, navigating relationships, or processing past experiences, help is available.

Your emotional well-being matters. Reach out to Tandem Psychology today to schedule a consultation and start your healing journey.

This blog is made for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice. The information in this blog is not intended to (1) replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified licensed health care provider, (2) create or establish a provider-patient relationship, or (3) create a duty for us to follow up with you.